Snowbed

I’ve been battling with depression for so many years now. At some point, I was misdiagnosed and my situation deteriorated, I had suicidal thoughts, I made an attempt to die, I had a constant fear of living.

It happened suddenly and unexpectedly and all I needed was something to stop the constant pain. A snowbed seemed like a refuge. Life was intolerable and linear, I couldn’t laugh or feel joy, I didn’t care if I was eating something tasty, starting a conversation was a struggle, explaining my feelings was impossible. Nothing could comfort me, not even my child, not even love.

The pictures in these series along with the handwritten poems had been created over a period of six dark years and it ended up as a diary of thoughts and memories, possibly a journey towards something meaningful.

It is an attempt to chart my path through mental illness such as a major depressive disorder. It is a description of fighting against it and mourning. I know that there will always be relapses of the disease but I am aware now, I embraced it to the point I can celebrate and thrive over my fears. I also want these series to be a liberation of the stigma and prejudice that follow people who suffer from mental illness. Being mentally ill is a medical condition and it should never be related to weakness.